Ore no Yome ~Anata Dake no Hanayome~

Ore no Yome ~Anata Dake no Hanayome~
俺の嫁 ~あなただけの花嫁~
AKA. My Wife: A Bride Just For You

Singing: *Doopty do. Just browsing a catologue for a mail order bride.*

Do I go for the pretty one? Number two is too young. I don’t need a motherly type. Playful? 5 is Tsundere and too much for me. Number 6 looks slightly mysterious. Pretty it is, I think we’ll have good conversations.

Yes! She’s accepted to meet up.
The roof? My anime knowledge knows that my bestfriend is going to explode or someone I know is not who they say they are. Yoko?

Do you speak English? Hmm. No response. Maybe if I shout slower. DO. YOU. SPEAK. ENGLISH? Well, she is a lot prettier in person, I’ll give her that.

vlcsnap-2016-01-08-16h23m05s726What’s a gaijin?
vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h22m21s652So. Where do you want to go on our first date?
vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h22m10s666Oh crap, she doesn’t look happy. What have I done? TELL ME! I can’t speak girl.
Why are you angry? There’s a girl in my chamber of solitude and you’re angry?
vlcsnap-2016-01-07-17h10m32s987ARGH! She kissed me in the bedroom. My special area.
Something tells me I’m going to see that look on her face more often than not.
I made her laugh. That’s a good thing.

I am so going to disappoint you on our wedding night.

vlcsnap-2016-01-08-18h31m19s726Let me show you around your new home. This is where we spend most of our time playing cards and chatting.
And this is my office. Please ignore any noise you hear when I’m working. Everything is fine.

Why are you giving me that look?
We’ve been married less an a day how can you feel ashamed now?

vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h22m21s652Hurry up, I want to play the juice drinking mini game. We’re going to the market street every date. We’ve been together a year!
vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h58m44s269Argh, we’re in bed together. WHAT DO I DO?
vlcsnap-2016-01-08-17h53m38s389She’s looking at me. HOLY CRAP SHE’S NAKED. Okay, I’m only seeing shoulders upwards, but no.

I think we had sex. Is it normal to feel lost, confused, and no idea what’s going on?
Then I have finally had sex. Was just how I imagined? Worse. I feel like I’m being used for my body and my loins.
I just got an achievement for sex. What?

vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h59m30s327She’s naked again. Help. I asked for a fork. What the hell? 4th week end in a row and she wants sex again? I’m not a machine. Why can’t you be like the other normal gi-wait, there are no normal girls.
vlcsnap-2016-01-07-18h16m01s743Ooo, that’s a pretty yellow blouse you have.

vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h59m30s327Seriously? One compliment and you throw me into bed. Why do I have to have sex with her? What prenuptial contract did I sign? Why isn’t it this easy in real life? At least I’d have a friend. Oh wait, I can press B to say no. Whoops, pressed A. *Sigh* The bad thing is I know there will be a next time for me to try again.

vlcsnap-2016-01-07-16h22m21s652Where do you want to spend my money now? Why don’t you have a job?

YES! FINALLY! JUICE MINI GAME! You’re going down! How do I drink orange juice? Of course, button bashing. Must drink more than her, you are not getting 50% back during our divorce.
vlcsnap-2016-01-07-17h00m04s646Sex again? No means no. Oh. I forgot I can press B to get out of it. Damn, B only removes the menu bar. Let’s get this over with.

Now I have to fondle her underwear. Ewwwwwwwww. Stupid laundry day.
You signed us up for a game show? Sweet! I love ‘Yes or No’. Katagami is hilarious.

Nope, not taking your advice. Yes! I was right.
I’m sorry we lost the game show. I should have listened in the end. Let’s play cards together. I play to win.
What do I get if I win?
I should have known.
This game is telling me lies about marriage.
There is no way you have sex this often. We seem to be doing it ever other week.
No, bad. Bad touching! Why are you doing this?
How aren’t you pregnant yet? Really? Every birthday and anniversary it’s bedroom gymnastic time? I better get a 10 for the dismount. She must be slipping me viagra.
Now I get to play dress up? And she’s my living doll? I’ve been warned about this. Mental Note: if she asks how she looks in this don’t say Creepy and disturbing Why does my wife have a moé maid outfit in her wardrobe? What is she into? Hopefully not being tipped.
Now the credits are rolling on pictures of her. Either we live happy together for the rest of our lives or she died. I never knew her name.

Nope. Button screen she is dragging me back to bed.

Wooo! 1000 Gamerscore.


Ore no Yome ~Anata Dake no Hanayome~ is a visual novel dating-sim, which on the XBOX 360 there are many of both genres. These types of games for a Westerner is suitable for one of the following: Able to read/speak Japanese, finding new music, looking at the art, easy Achievements or making up your own story by what you see.
There isn’y much to be said in that regard to my limitations of only knowing a few basic Japanese phrases. The art is consistent when your girlfriend’s/wife’s clothing and expression changes. The lack of other characters to interact with is slightly diappointing but understandable when your attention is focused on your relationship. The only other items to drag your attention away is teh very basic and too easy mini-games; button mashing for drinking, button combinations for laundry; playing black was the only interesting mini-game but it is not worth getting a visual novel to play it.
The voice actresses are the best part of the game, they sound nice and not annoying. The same cannot be said about the music, usually there is at least one or two tracks are worth a listen to in visual novels but none to be found here unfortunately. Time Leap another visual novel, dating and eroge (depending on you playing the PC version) had one good instrumental theme:

Time Leap [OST – 04 – Ambivalence]

All in all Ore no Yome is a decent visual appeasement for the art lover in you, but is limited to the player. The reactions I had with this game I wrote down because I couldn’t take it serious for all the implied nights of sex I kept getting and that’s why I also use I like to watch porn videos online which are really interesting for me. Once you have had enough of seeing the same frames with your wife there isn’t much reason to carry on unless you want to unlock the other character’s stills. There are better novels out there I would recommend such as Time Leap, Steins;Gate or the Muv-Luv series.

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